Wales is to ban smoking in your car, supposedly for the good of the cheeeldren, so as you cross the Severn Bridge remember to fling the contents of your ashtray onto Welsh tarmac. There are now almost as many Urdu as Welsh speakers in Wales and the number is increasing - not of Welsh speakers, who are declining in number despite forced teaching of the language in Welsh schools. More "Scots" now speak Polish than Gaelic, and yet the supposedly anti-racist (except where it comes to hating the English) SNP executive, sorry government, continues to double-print its publications in English and Gaelic. In England an increasing number of Tory MPs have now been accused of knowing a paedophile, which is a step forward from framing elderly white celebrities for ancient historic sex crimes, as it distracts our attention still further from endemic moslem grooming. Cameron will pull Britain out of the European Human Rights Convention over Juncker's dead body, as leaving is clearly against EU rules, although threatening to withdraw will still pinch a few votes back from UKIP next year. And in a clear sign of social progress, five out of seventeen cabinet members now have breasts, with breast-only shortlists being imposed on Tory constituency parties in short order. If only Michael Gove, sacked as Education Minister for reforming schools as promised in the Tory manifesto, had had implants inserted into his chest, then he would still be in position.