Sunday, 9 December 2012

The 2012 Turner prize

Named after Britain's greatest artist, this year's prize went to Rastafari Imperialism for her thought-provoking work Jelly Babies on Ice (seen pictured). Critics have gone crazy about this post-raphaelite example of Mz Imperialism's subdued yet upbeat recidivist style - who can forget her Three Pianos and a Chilli Pepper? - with the Guardian's Hampstead Hoemeau comparing it to Polar Bear on a Unicycle, Le Poseur's stark warning about climate change, and urging the Tate to put in a lottery bid for £10 million to stop it going abroad. Trisexual axe-murderer Jenny Dead came second with his manure-and-felt-tip Thatcher's Palestine, held aloft by yodelling Tibetan monks.

But many are now asking "Must a conceptual work exist? Is it necessary for an artist to actually do anything?" Mz Imperialism gave us a clue last year, when having accepted £100 billion from the Arts Council to create "a triptych of wood, fried eggs and Tory manifestos" depicting the half-eaten victims of cannibal Christian bankers floating down the Ganges in fifteenth century Moghul India, she did precisely nothing. Which perhaps speaks for itself.

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